The hardest part of having 3 horses? Choosing.
Who do I spend time with first? Who do I choose if I only have time for one
And the hardest choices, with money being a challenge… do I choose to do basic dental work or spend the extra to go with more specialized care?
Who takes priority when it comes to choosing who can get specialized bodywork this month? Can I afford to give all of them XY or Z?
The choices are endless, and in a perfect world we wouldn’t need to worry about money, and the question of “who first” would be the hardest and only one.
But the reality is that many of us who deeply love our horses, also struggle to give them what we know they deserve, because of money. And if you’re crazy enough to use most of your money to take on a horse for your horse, or even TWO horses for your horse…then we’re in the same boat. Because now you have 3x the weight on your shoulders, but at least your horse has a family, right?
I know that the guilt is hard to deal with, but I want to tell anyone struggling with that guilt…
Tucker has had the short end of the stick his whole life when it comes to his budget. And yet he still loves me today, powerfully and unconditionally. Horses are forgiving and understanding.
Tucker was ridden for years with not so great tack, we literally opted for tackless so often because we had nothing that fit well. But I probably rode bareback more often than I should have, and he never had any bodywork.
He went years without having constant access to forage or even eating grass hay at all. He only ate alfalfa or oat hay until 2018 at most locations, because that was the norm. Fortunately he usually had grazing available, but not always.
And I cannot forget that he had to go through some serious trauma of leaving his closely bonded horse family when we moved for college…
He did it all with the best attitude, and now that he enjoys all the basics along with some luxuries, our relationship is not filled with regret and guilt. He radiates gratitude and thankfulness, and I know that he knows I’ve always done the best I could. Even though he must have been suffering at times due to my lack of knowledge, he holds nothing against me today.
So if you’re struggling with choices like these, feeling weighed down by the guilt of not giving your horse everything, just know that you’re not alone. And it’s okay, your horse knows when you’re doing the best you can. They understand more than we give them credit. And if you care about your horse enough to feel these things, then I think it is very likely that you’re providing enough for your horse to be happy.
And choosing to take in Trubee was the best decision I could have made for Tucker’s mental and emotional health over the years. Adding Adee has been equally successful at creating a safe place for the boys if I take one away, and I hope that when the day comes and one has to leave this world, having been a herd of 3 will help then too. I know it will help ease my heart, and seeing them all together fills me with so much joy every day.
Even if you cannot provide your horse with a horse, I know you’re doing all in your power to give them their best life – and they know it too. Your horse will love you through it all. Unless they’re a Trubee and you’re running late, or you skipped their attention session – then they might require an extra cookie to avoid turning into a little monster, but they will still love you 🍪😉